Front Page: Show Picks for the Weekend 3/21-3/24

Shame On

Salamanders

suppression* Suppression perform tonight, March 21 at Strange Matter 

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Thursday, 3/21 Zs (pictured just above), Guardian Alien , Suppression (featured band/show pictured atop), Caves Caverns, Flesh Control @ Strange Matter 10pm. 18+ (experimental, hardcore, grind-core, surf rock, noize)
- Its fancy how the skull goes to reach for a Capricorn only to lose a Scorpio to a girl who doesn’t shave her armpits…

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Thursday, 3/21 Carrie Underwood (pictured just above), Hunter Hayes @ Richmond Coliseum 7:30pm. 
(nu-country)
- I want to take a shit on Carrie Underwood and Dolly Vogt…

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Thursday, 3/21 Eric Taylor (pictured just above), Savannah Valentino & The McTell Brothers @ Ashland Coffee and Tea 8pm. 
(folk/Americana)
- I need a drink…

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Thursday, 3/21 Big Daddy Love, Turbine (pictured just above) @ The Camel 9pm. 18+ 
(indie rock)
- Big Daddy Turbine Loved himself and punching pregnant women in the stomach…

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Thursday, 3/21 Clayton England (pictured just above) and Adam Weatherford @ Cous Cous 11pm. 21+
(singer-songwriter)
- Better hurry, this place is closing soon…

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Thursday, 3/21 XL 102 presents Rock Off RVA featuring Holly Would (pictured just above), Atlas, If It Takes Forever @ Canal Club 7pm. All Ages. 
(alt. rock/indie/heavy rock)
- XL102 presents anything white bros, rednecks, trailer trash, crackers, frat boys, sub-literate backwards baseball cap follower type wiggers want to support… 

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Thursday, 3/21 The Littlest Viking, Little Tybee, Color Feels, Night Idea, Dumb Waiter (poster just above) @ Gallery 5 8pm, All Ages.
(instrumental/prog/math rock)
- The littlest cock belongs to the warden…

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Thursday, 3/21 Our Last Night (pictured just above), and others @ Kingdom 5pm. All Ages. 
(hard rock/pop rock)
- Shove a tit in my mouth please this instant!…

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Friday, 3/22 Kappa Psi Pharmaceutical Fraternity Theta Chapter presents Kappapalooza benefit for the Center For High Blood Pressure featuring The Jeff Grace Band, The Westhampton Citybillies (pictured just above), DJ Buck @ On the Rox 10pm. 21+ 
(folk/indie/bluegrass)
- Phi Slamma Jamma and some Oxy…

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Friday, 3/22 Typefighter, Sunset Guns, 6 Track Amateur, Red States (poster just above) @ McCormack’s Irish Pub 10pm. 21+ 
(independent rock/experimental)
- 6 Typewriters used by amateur red state residents… 

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Friday, 3/22 Campbell Family Band (pictured just above)  @ Crossroads (Reedy Creek/Woodland Heights) 8pm. 
(folk/bluegrass)
– Okay I fucking say it…Kill the white man, kill the white man…And kill that motherfucker again…

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Friday, 3/22 James Justin & Co. (pictured just above) @ Cary St. Cafe 10pm. 21+ 
(Americana/alt-country)
- Stephanie Rochon gets worse and worse by the telecast…

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Friday, 3/22 Les Rhinoceros (pictured just above), Caves Caverns, Tulsa, The Most Amazing Century of Science @ Venable St. Complex 7pm. (for info ask a bum) 
(surf/experimental/ambient/noize)
- March Sadness…

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Friday, 3/22 Pat Russell Band (pictured just above) @ Sharky’s 8pm. 
(nu-country)
- The Pat Sajak Band eats cheese…

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Friday, 3/22 Vexine (pictured just above) @ Tobacco Company 9pm. 21+ 
(bar rock/alt. rock/country)
- Vaccine…

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Friday, 3/22 BoomBox (pictured just above) @ The National 10pm. 18+  
(electronic jam rock)
- Is this a big black guy walking through Jackson Ward with a boom box on his shoulder?…

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Friday, 3/22 Bill Kirchen (pictured just above), Honky Tonk Experience @ Lulu’s (Shockoe Bottom) 8pm.
(hony tonk/alt. country)
- Lulu’s is the spot all of a sudden…Well played, well played…

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Friday, 3/22 The Mantras (pictured just above) @ The Camel 9pm. 18+ 
(jam rock)
- The White Guys…

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Friday, 3/22 Rosetta, The Blue Letter (pictured just above), Shy Low, Matt Neagle vs. You @ Strange Matter 10pm. 18+
(screamo/emo/hard rock)
– Ok, I had a Rosetta stone and a green letter once…Does that make me cool enough to not be shy and have a need to dip Matt Neagle’s head in oil, and then rub it all over my body?…

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Friday, 3/22 DJ’s Alex Young, RaceCarBed (pictured just above), RudeeBeatz x Eli Cash, Elliot Ness, ill.Body, J Hinx, DJ Turp @ Canal Club 9pm. 18+ 
(pop techno, DJ oriented/bass/trap)
- Ruby Dee is hardcore…

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Friday, 3/22 Venetia Fair, Monacan Hill (pictured just above from Williams Photography), Red States @ Southern Blues (207 N. Third St. – Downtown) 7:30pm. 
(indie rock/alt. rock)
- Take this cock, and shove it up your greasy asshole, thank you…

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Friday, 3/22 Jonny Craig, Kurt Travis, Hail the Sun, The Seeking Inquiry, October Wolves, Footwerk, East Great Falls (poster just above) @ Kingdom 6pm. All Ages. 
(pop/r&b/hip hop)
- Hey great!…More white guys acting black!…Yayyyyyy!…

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Friday, 3/22 Blaqtronic featuring DJ Williams Projekt with The Polychrons and DJ Phil Dice (DJ Williams pictured just above) @ Capital Ale House Downtown Music Hall 10pm. 
(electronic jam music)
- Technotronic…

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Saturday, 3/23 Linwood Taylor (pictured just above) @ Lulu’s
(Shockoe Bottom/17th St. Farmer’s Market) 9pm.
(authentic blues)
- Linwood Briley…

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Saturday, 3/23 Weeping Molly (poster just above) @ McCook’s Lakeside Grill 8pm.
(blues rock/bar rock)
- That’s right, cry bitch…You don’t wanna fuck me?…Fine!…eat this rotten apple bitch!…

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Saturday, 3/23 Goldrush (pictured just above) @ Hardywood Park Craft Brewery (2408 Ownby Ln. – behind the Diamond) 5:30pm. 
(rock and roll)
- I hope Handicapwood is doing okay because not allowing Olde Shame to perform has consequences…

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Saturday, 3/23 The Hissy Fits, Lonely Teardrops (poster just above) @ Emilio’s in the Fan 10pm. 
(sludge/no wave rock)
- I’m throwing one now…

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Saturday, 3/23 Rich Homie Quan, DJ Sleep EZ (poster just above) @ Paradise Lounge 11pm. 18+ 
(mainstream rap/club hip hop)
- Atleast one, well maybe two, will get shot outside on E. Franklin St. tonight after the show and not 3 or 4…

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Saturday, 3/23 Savage Attack, Kombat Wombat (poster just above) @ Empire 10pm. 21+ 
(metal)
- Hello butter, good bye margarine…

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Saturday, 3/23 Permanent Makeup, Little Master (pictured just above), Blackout Twin @ Cat Mansion 7pm. (info at go fuck yourself) 
(experimental/alt. pop rock)
- Mike Gögniat is going…

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Saturday, 3/23 Andy Vaughan & the Driveline (pictured just above) @ Poe’s Pub 9pm. 21+ 
(country&western/saloon rock)
- Cowboy hat, oh cowboy hat, its Christmas time in the city, oh cowboy hat, oh cowboy hat…

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Saturday, 3/23 Alto Saxophonist Gary Shaver Octet (Gary pictured just above) @
Bogart’s in the Fan 9pm. 21+
(jazz)
- Altavista Saxophonist…

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Saturday, 3/23 Whitey Morgan & the 78s (pictured just above), Barstool Heroes @ Cary St. Café  10pm. 21+ 
(honky tonk/saloon rock)
- I raped a cardinal once…

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Saturday, 3/23 Of Oceans, Surroundings (pictured just above), The American Dream, No Ordinary Family, With My Bare Hands @ Canal Club 8pm. 18+ 
(alt. rock/pop)
- Of James rivers…

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Saturday, 3/23 Jahman Braham (pictured just above) @ Capital Ale House Downtown Music Hall 9pm. 
(shred jam rock)
- Jewman Brewman…What?…

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Saturday, 3/23 Norwegian Arms (pictured just above), Dangerous Ponies, Wolfbite @ Wonderland 9pm. 21+
(hard folk rock/experimental/pop punk)
- Norwegian Arms? Dangerous Ponies?…I can’t take it anymore, where’s my Armalite rifle?…

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 Saturday, 3/23 Folk the System, Ma Jolie (pictured just above), Placeholder, The Cats, Missives @ Strange Matter 6pm. All Ages. (early) 
(folk rock/pop/rock/independent)
- Fuck the system, Angelina Jolie’s cats are missing…

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Saturday, 3/23 Joe Dillon’s B-Day Bash featuring Sinister Haze, Backwoods Payback (pictured just above), Batillus, Men’s Room @ Strange Matter 10pm. 18+ (late) 
(punk/hard rock)
- I bet Jon Dillon used to play high school football…

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Saturday, 3/23 Missy Raines & the New Hip (pictured just above) @ Ashland Coffee & Tea 8pm. 
(Americana/folk rock/twang)
- Missy masturbates a lot, so watch out…

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Saturday, 3/23 White Laces, The Young Sinclairs (poster just above) @ Balliceaux 10:30pm. 21+ 
(dream pop/indie/psych rock)
- White Sinclairs listening to Sunny Day Real Estate…

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 Saturday, 3/23 Jackass Flats (pictured just above), The Hot Strings @ The Camel 9pm. 18+ 
(bluegrass/folk)
-  Can somebody tell me why no one reads One Way Richmond?…

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Sunday, 3/24 Haints in the Holler, Ora Cogan (pictured just above), Ben Shirley, In Sheep’s Clothing @ Gallery 5 7pm. All Ages. 
(folk rock/bluegrass/singer-songwriter/ambient)
- Bra Organ… 

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Sunday, 3/24 Reproductive Freedom Project Benefit featuring The Milkstains, Queener, Peace Beast (poster just above) @ Strange Matter 6pm. All Ages. (early) 
(blues rock/surf rock, psych rock)
- All pro-lifers, religious zealots and those who eat birds must die!…

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Sunday, 3/24 Vibe Ruiner, Opposable Thumbs, Christi, Woah (poster just above) @ Wonderland 9pm. 21+ 
(independent/experimental/rock)
- My vibe was ruined when Chesterfield Country refused to help pay for new lights at the Diamond…

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Sunday, 3/24 Brunch with Cashmere Jungle Lords  @ The Camel 11am.
(brunch 11am/music 2pm)(early) 
(rockabilly)
-  Jungle food for brunch?…Sign me up!…Mmmmm…Fresh zebra, yum!…

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Sunday, 3/24 Woodwork (pictured just above), The Trongone Band @ The Camel 9pm. 18+ (late) 
(jam blues rock)
- Wood Cock…

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Sunday, 3/24 Scott Clark 4tet (pictured just above) @ Commercial Taphouse 9pm. 
(jazz)
– The Dick Clark Propaganda Tet…

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Sunday, 3/24 Wall-O-Matics (actual Wall-O-Matic pictured just above) @ Lulu’s (Shockoe Bottom/17th St. Farmer’s Market) 7pm. 
(rock&roll)
- Wall-of-Voodoo was underrated…

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Sunday, 3/24 Canary Oh Canary , Bad Magic (poster just above) @ Bandito’s 9pm. Free. 21+ 
(garage-gaze/garage/experimental/straight ahead rock)
- In order to avoid prison time because of four counts of bad magic, LuChester Fennessey sang like a canary…

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Sunday, 3/24 Alex Bleeker & the Freaks (pictured just above), Various Eggs, Heavy Midgets @ Strange Matter 10pm. 18+ (late) 
(lo-fi psych rock/independent)
- Alex Jones and the Freaks is more like it…

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Sunday, 3/24 Schwervon (pictured just above), Herschel Stratego, Ben Sheperd @ Helen’s (Robinson & W. Main St.) 9pm.
(singer-songwriter/folk/independent rock)
- Piss on my face please…Piss on my face please…Piss on my face please…Piss on my face please…

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Sunday, 3/24 Richmond Symphony’s Classical Incarnations (pictured just above) @ Balliceaux 8pm. 21+ 
(classical music)
- I am getting weaker in my old age, just last week I took a vacation in my closet…Hello card carrying member of the little house on the prairie…

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Sunday, 3/24 The Ghost Inside (pictured just above), Stick To Your Guns, Stray From Path, Rotting Out @ Kingdom 6pm. All Ages. 
(pop rock/punk/indie)
- More teenagers defending acne…

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Sunday, 3/24 Mike Epps (pictured just above) @ The Mosque (Landmark Theater) 7pm. 
(comedian/stand up)
- Before Mike goes out on stage, he likes to listen to Grover Washington Jr…

* Saturday, 3/23 & Sunday 3/24

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Unlike the white trash-bro convention last weekend at Shamrock the Cock in the Bottom, this authentic Irish festival is not to be missed. It is traditional with a parade, bag pipes, families, food, music, everything Celtic and of course, good times. This festival benefits all kinds of good stuff in Church Hill, so come one, come all!

28th Annual Church Hill Irish Festival Saturday –  (10:00-10:30 Parade) (in order of appearance) An Cor Rud, DonnyBrooks, Crain Brothers Band, The Virginians, Susan Greenbaum Band, Powder Keg, St. Baldrick’s Headshave, The Atkinsons, Bart Chucker Band, Mother’s Little Helper, Miles O’Brian, Uisce Beathea

Sunday – (in order of appearance) Celtic Clover, Irish Dancers, Missing One, The Thompson’s, Poisoned Dwarf, Kelly Kennedy & Handsome Molly, Blueline Highway, 100th Monkey, Janet Martin Band, Recklessly Abandoned, Taters @ 25th & Broad St. (Church Hill) 8am-6:30pm.

More info at churchhillirishfestival.com

* SBON SSARB DNAB…

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* Every Thursday of Your Life…

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* Its Loud Up in Hare!…

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* Start Spreading the News…

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* te quiero…

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Notes:

* Don’t Forget This Bad Boy…

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* John Cage Bubblegum…

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* March Madness Starts Today!…

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* R.I.P  Jason Molina (1973-2013);  Ruth Ann Steinhagen (1929-2013)